There is a Monkey in the Kitchen

One day I woke up and went to have breakfast. By now I am one of the first ones to wake up in the camp. Since there were no hyenas and no lions (leopards we never know), it was safe to walk around the camp. Also, this way I could study the tracks on the pathway before everyone steps on it.

As I’m approaching the kitchen tent I hear a sound inside. I didn’t give it much attention. I was just surprised that someone woke up before me. Also, there were no footsteps going into the tent.

I started to go up the stairs and the noise inside the kitchen started to get more and more agitated. I was not sure who was doing so much noise in the morning. I see the zipper open (the door), which is weird. We always close the zipper of the kitchen, for obvious reasons. I look inside and see no one inside the tent. The tent has 2 parts: the first part has the main table, and tables around with a toaster, microwave, cereals, fruit, small fridge and cookies; the other part has the sink and the big fridge.

The kitchen with a table in the middle and a door for the second area.

I walked slowly inside, I had a feeling that something wasn’t right. The cereals were all over the place, some fruit with bites. I’m going to admit that I took a long time to realize that something was wrong. When I get to the second part of the tent, I look around and see a massive vervet monkey on top of the fridge trying to hide. I jumped and then tried to stay calm.

The vervet monkey was breathing heavily and I could see in his eyes it was thinking about the next move. I decided to get out of the tent to think about a plan to get the monkey out. By this time 3 of my volunteer colleagues were awake and ready to get this monkey out. We started to think about how we are going to get him out.

– First, we need an exit for him – I said.

– So let’s open the tent and lock the “door” with a chair – someone said.

We opened the door and then locked it with a chair. After 15 minutes the monkey didn’t even move from the fridge area. So we needed to move him.

– Ok, I have an idea – I said – I had a similar problem a few years ago, but the opposite. I was fighting to keep hyenas out of my kitchen. So if we go to the back of the tent and bang it and make a lot of noises, the monkey will run to the other room and then see the door and run away – I finished.

Vervet monkey eating some berries.

– That is brilliant – another said.

We walked around the tent without making a sound so we could scare the monkey. We got close and tried to see which part would be better to scare him. He was still on top of the fridge so that was the place to start. I got close and my idea was to punch the tent and growl like a big lion.

– 3, 2, 1, Now! – I said. I threw a punch into the walls of the tent. I managed to hit the pointy end of the sink causing me a lot of pain – AUUU – I screamed. My big lion roar turned into a cat crying – My hand! Where did I hit?! – I said almost crying from the pain.

The monkey jumped from the fridge through the window (with a mosquito net), hitting a tree and falling back, failing miserably.

– Damm! That didn’t work! – I said.

We decided to give it another go. This time I was going to see where he was and try to hit there. I found out he went back to the top of the fridge. The only way I could hit it was with a broom.

– Do we have a broom? – I asked.

– Yes – Nick replied – but it is inside the tent.

– Ok, so someone has to go in and grab the broom – as I’m saying this I see everyone putting their finger on the nose. – Damn it! Fine, I’ll go!

I decided to not make a noise and try to sneak my way back into the tent. I entered the tent and saw the broom. It was very close to the entry of the second area of the tent. When I grabbed the broom I decided to have a look to see where the monkey was, still on top of the fridge. So I walked out and we went to go back to give it a go! I could see where the monkey was leaning on so that was the place I decided to poke. When I pocket him, he jumped from the fridge and ran into the other room.

– Yes! It is in the other room- I screamed.

The monkey was jumping around like crazy. But then jumped back to the fridge area. We had a plan but the monkey wasn’t playing his part. We looked inside the tent and on every table there was poop.

– How much poop can a monkey have? – Nick asked.

– Pretty sure he’s not done yet – I replied.

After 5 minutes of thinking about what to do, we had a bold plan. Now that we know the monkey can go from one room to another we can leave someone inside the room, hidden away, and then force the monkey to leave the tent. By now it had already been 25 minutes and everyone was getting very hungry. Again I was volunteered by the others to be the one inside the tent with the broom.

Once again we scared the monkey from the fridge area and I jumped out of beneath one of the tables to force the monkey to go through the door. The monkey turned around and saw me. Luckily he pooped himself and ran through the door. All the other volunteers came inside the tent to evaluate the damage. The monkey had ruined the cereals, the fruit broke 3 plates and 2 glasses, and left us 7 smelly “presents” to clean.